Dear Ladies of the Steps,
On March 3, 2009 I lost my job.
I lost more than my job that day. That day…I lost my job, my security, my financial comfort and slowly my mind. The proverbial rug was pulled out from under me; and no amount of sympathy or positive reinforcement from friends and family could have changed that.
In hindsight, maybe I could have prevented this. Maybe I shouldn’t have left a secure job for a company I knew nothing about just because the “career opportunity” was better. Maybe I shouldn’t have moved out of my parents’ house just 6 months after starting my first city job.
But that’s the kicker. There is no such thing as hindsight. Just because we can point out the mistakes we made after we’ve made them does not mean we will ever be able to change what has already happened.
Hindsight is, as far as my 8 weeks of unemployment can tell, just another mental tool for kicking yourself in the ass; being angry with yourself for something you never had control of anyway.
All is not lost. These 8 weeks have taught me a lot. Most of the lessons I wasn’t ready to learn. But the higher powers never seem to care if you’re ready, or mature, or emotionally stable enough when the time comes.
First, and the most painful of all, life goes on. The world isn’t going to stop because your shit hit the fan. I spent 3 days in bed unwilling to open the blinds, eat something with nutritional value, or face the music and tell my family and friends. But once I was able to come to terms with my reality, I knew facing the music was my first test, planning how I would handle the next few months of my life was the second.
To be continued...