Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Fake It Like You Mean It

I started my new job a few weeks ago and I am loathing the adjustment period. It's easy to forget your first few weeks/months at a new job previous to the current one, simply because they are completely different. I'm a perfectionist and I strive on a routine. Throw a wrench in the mix and I'm discombobulated for days. So far, it's been several. I have been "emotionally" eating and constantly saying "yes" to the Bossman when he asks to take me to lunch or buy me lunch. I haven't found my balance with this job yet and it's starting to take its toll.

During my work day I contemplate many scenarios of my life and how they could turn out and which one will make me the happiest. And I got nothin'. I can think of a few possibilities but neither make me jump for joy. The realist in me sees the flaws in my potential plans, not letting the dreamer in me have any fun. Also during my work day, actual work is interspersed, I wonder if I am really cut out for my job...and if I actually like my job.

I hope once the dust settles and the smoke clears I will be able to make an informed decision on what to do next. Hopefully I will be granted with that choice. Until then I'm pretending I know what I'm doing. And I think I'm doing a damn good job.

No comments: