Job Hunting. With a Stick.

That is how I feel. Like I'm on some prehistoric quest for sustenance, alongside about a million other people with similar sticks, a bunch with knifes, a couple with arrows, and maybe one or two with guns. All I can do is hope that my little sharpened stick will get lucky and pierce some sort of life line.I need an edge. I came across a few sites catering to the stick wielding, and found them pretty helpful.

1. Brazen Careerist has really helpful features.



2. Coachology is my fave



3. Collegegrad.com has a gigantic job database, and markets itself on being the "#1 entry level job site." They have career resources also, the basics -> resume, cover letter, interview, etc.



4. Vault is a great resource, and it's free through certain schools (goto career resources and click "vault" in the right hand column. )
   They have company profiles, interview and resume help, and the Vault Online Career Library. The library is a database of Vault career and field guides can download for free. I bought one for 20$ a few days before I saw this. Sooo obnoxious.

I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I was completely unaware of the immense work and concentration that goes into each resume, cover letter, follow-up, interview, and thank you note. I envisioned mass emails, wielding my perfect resume, going out to periodicals across the country. The next day, an inbox bursting. I hope these sites offer a little help.
happy hunting,

Lynnifer

p.s. Job hunting is stressful and can be depressing - I have a bag of Dove chocolates (the ones with little inspirations written inside the foil) I reward myself with after each resume I send out. Love yourself a little. <3

Let them eat cake!

I always jokingly say that I'm going to give my two weeks notice by burning down my office building. This guy has an alternative that doesn't include arson or possible jail time:

The sheet cake reads:

"Dear Mr. Bowers,

During the past three years, my tenure at the Hunters Point Naval Shipyard has been nothing short of pure excitement, joy and whim.

However, I have decided to spend more time with my family and attend to health issues that have recently arisen. I am proud to have been part of such an outstanding team and I wish this organization only the finest in future endeavors. Please accept this cake as notification that I
am leaving my position with NWT on March 27.

Sincerely,

W. Neil berrett"


**

See original photo here.

Bravo! Classic.

Miss Mac

I've come to find out, that working for someone else, ie. being an assistant, you have to possess the unearthly powers of mind reading. Miss Cleo, I am not.

At my former position, my CEO even had the balls to tell me that "I have to learn to read his mind." Creepy, yes. Doable, no.

While I do have great intutition, I certainly cannot read minds. Thus, you can imagine my confusion when a new email pops up and it's written like a password to get into something private or a Candadian zip code. Throughout the whole day, I've had to decipher blackberry messages with limited information and try my best to figure out what the hell they mean.

This occurence isn't just today. No, no...since almost a year ago, I've had to read someone's mind all too often. It also doesn't help that she doesn't clue me into what she's working on and then expects me to jump in at the last minute and help her figure out something. Or do the bitch work when she's too busy playing with her baby to do.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having a career and having a kid, but there's a balancing act, and a time when more things should be loaded on to your assistant so she's not in her cubicle twiddling her thumbs and making up more than 1/2 of her Top 10 List.

But reading minds, if I could...I sure as hell wouldn't be HERE.

All signs point to...

I've had a few signs tell me it's time to move on from my current position as a Publicist in Upstate, NY. First, the internal offer from one of my colleagues to pass my resume around to his bevy of contacts (one of whom include the NY Mets!!!). The other is my trusty sidekick, B, who sent me a few job postings, which in turn led me to a website with an almost perfect job...if a million others weren't applying for it as well.

I also had a dream I was pregnant a few nights ago, which, according to B, means something new is developing (not necessarily an actual child within).

Albeit, I've felt I have short-changed myself with my current position. I did get a great deal of experience dealing with a tiger who changes its spots VERY frequently, but I also gained experience working in an actual office environment and doing office duties which are great things to know. However, I wasn't challenged enough creatively and I feel like I lost my focus of what I really want to do...or I'm still paying my dues at 25.

Either way, it's time for me to move on to greater pastures. And all the signs say, the timing is right.

Dipping your pen...

There are a few old adages that may suggest you shouldn't mix business with pleasure. The whole "poopin' where you nosh," or my favorite "don't dip your pen in the company ink" would prove to be disasterous scenarios no matter how you slice it. *Except in your case B.


Office relationships, or in my case, office crushes can be harmless....until one turns psycho. Never before did I talk to this person, I'd seen him around, but was never formally introduced, nor did I care. I wasn't interested. At all. I made small talk, he made big talk. Lots of big talk. He mentioned that he could get me into the hottest clubs in NYC...I knew he was full of poo.


Long story short, he asked me out, I said no, he got mad...and made up stories. He now refuses to work with me on projects and he got the big guys involved. I stated my side of the story, which, conveniently did NOT match his. I always remained the professional, he, however, did not: *Muttering "b*tch" under your breath when you walk past my cubicle is seriously the most immature, unprofessional and unattrative thing you can do. Yeah, now I really want to date him...HA!


Anywho, we have to work together on Friday. We'll see what happens.


P.S. I'm never giving out my phone number again, and if anyone asks...I'm a lesbian.

Rant

Why get into a pissing contest with some no-name has been academia-ite who wants to stick her stubby nose into anything and everything she thinks she may have known something about at some time. The fact of the matter is that she wants to make everyone into a cookie cutter carbon copy of some overly book smart, street stupid imbecile who's only contact with the outside world is the walk to and from the library where they write heaps of papers on things that don't matter to anyone but themselves.

Where are my typos in that, b*tch?!



Work is fun, no?

Passion.

Being new to marketing makes understanding what exactly marketing is difficult. I know that I was born to meet people. I always thought, with my passion for writing, that it would be to write about them. Now as a marketing professional, I realize it's to know and network with them.